Consistency

Ways to keep things constant just before orgasm

Repetition is Your Friend

There’s a moment when you feel an orgasm approaching. Sticking with whatever motion you’re doing in that moment makes the feeling grow into full climax for a huge number of women.

Not harder, not softer, not faster, not slower - exactly the same.

The approach to orgasm, it turns out, is a distinct stage in arousal, when even small changes have big impact.

Consistency Variations

When Consistency Matters Most

The minutes or seconds right before orgasm - called “the Approach” - is unique and fragile stage for most women. This is where consistency is super important...

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The Approach to Orgasm

The minutes or seconds right before orgasm - called “the Approach” - is unique and fragile stage for many women when it’s easy to lose focus and lose the orgasm. This is where consistency is super important.

Build-up Approach Orgasm

The Approach starts the moment you feel the orgasm starting to bubble up inside. For two-thirds of women, whatever motion is happening at that moment, that’s the motion to repeat until the orgasm is in full swing.

“The pleasure gets a sharper focus and I can tell the orgasm is on the horizon, that’s when everything needs to stay the same.”

Build-up Approach Orgasm

What It Feels Like - The Tightrope

“It’s kind of like being on a mental tightrope that’s going up and up—and consistency of the motion helps you stay balanced and stay on that tightrope. Any change to that motion—it shakes the tightrope—and you can fall off and lose the orgasm or else have a smaller, partial orgasm that’s kinda frustrating. I wish I’d always known that - so simple.”

“When I feel the orgasm is growing, it gets more intense but it’s so easy to jinx it. If my partner stops even for a second to reposition, then it goes away and we have to start over.”

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Just Go Same

Just Go Same

“I was with a lover in my twenties - and he gave me the best oral sex I’d ever had in my life. Like dramatically, earth-shatteringly best-ever. I tried to figure out what he was doing different but couldn’t because it seemed like he was doing different things each time. And so I just asked him what his secret was. He said that he realized that, when men are close to orgasm, they don’t mind if it gets harder or faster or different, so he thinks guys assume women are the same way. But he realized that with women, when they get close, don’t go faster, don’t go harder, JUST GO SAME. We seriously considered making a ‘Just Go Same’ bumper sticker or public service announcement or something because it’s so simple but makes such a difference!”

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7 Flavors / Ways You Can Stay Consistent

When Approach starts, here are the seven ways you can stay the course and keep consistent...

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When Approach starts, here are the seven different ways you can keep consistent:

Speed and Rhythm: Keep the same pace, steady and constant.

Path: If you’re doing X-shapes, keep doing them. If you’re doing arcs, keep doing arcs.

Pattern: Keep the same sequence. For instance, if you’re doing three small circles on the hood, followed by one larger, lower circle that brushes the actual clit, keep repeating that same pattern.

Penetration Angle: Whatever the positioning, angle or depth of penetration, keep it the same.

Direction: If it’s clockwise, stay clockwise. Down to up, stay down to up.

Without Pauses: This is a big one. Consistent means not stopping, no breaks. For over two thirds of women, unless you’re intentionally trying to prevent and delay orgasm (See Edging), teasing time is over.

Pressure: Keep the same amount of pressure, whether that’s feather-light, gliding on the skin, moving the skin, or massaging beneath the skin.

“It’s so simple-sounding but makes such a difference for me. Because usually, at least for a moment, my partner hits the spot perfectly. The challenge is continually repeat it just like that even if I’m moving around!”

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spaceplay / pause

qunload | stop

ffullscreen

shift + ←→slower / faster

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mmute

←→seek

 . seek to previous

12… 6 seek to 10%, 20% … 60%

Alba Demonstrates Her Style of Consistency

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You get to try the technique and hear different ways women guide partners.

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Bringing it to the Bedroom

Helpful Guidelines

  • Asking ‘Are you close?’ can actually kill the orgasm. Questions like ‘are you going to come soon’ can shift focus away from the pleasure and can actually prevent the approach to orgasm. The resulting thoughts like ‘am I taking too long?’ or ‘is he/she getting bored?’ can be orgasm-killers. See Signaling.
  • Moving Target. It’s not easy to keep movement completely consistent when bodies are moving and hips are squirming - but if you try, it’s do-able and rewarding!

Most Common Challenges

  • Adding Last-Minute Extras. It’s true that during orgasm, adding different kinds of stimulation can feel great for some women. But many say most of these changes actually distract more often than improve things. Find which of the seven ways of staying consistent are crucial for the orgasm to build, then figure out how you can keep those consistent while adding the ‘extras.’
  • Some Like the Opposite of Consistency! Remember that some women prefer surprising and inconsistent motion. (See Surprise) It turns out, though that even most of those women who like surprise during buildup want the motion to then become consistent during approach, but a small percentage want variation throughout.
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Consistency Don't Change a Thing

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Consistency Don't Change a Thing

When approach to orgasm starts, keep everything the same. Be careful not to change speed, rhythm, path, patterns, pressure, direction. Don't change anything at all.

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Consistency Don't Change a Thing